Hurt? .

*breathes* sigh (in relief?)

I guess I finally know why all the hidden sorrow. Guess it's good that I've unravel the knot. Open up the pain & left in bare.

Truth be told, it hurts so bad. It reminded me of all the hurtings once and for all. Lay it bare, right there. Right there.. Heal me. Embrace me.

I feel so cold & lonely in the middle of the night. I feel my trembling legs that were so tired of holding everything up and pushing through. I look into the mirror and I've not seen my face like that for so long. When was my eyes last so red? Hmmm. JN you've lost some weight.. How did I not tell that.. You look pitiful.. Someone please hold me.

Heaven bent to take my hand?

But not to worry.. I'm over the sobbing, blowing nose and all that. Was just thinking maybe she's right after all... You gain sth, you lose sth.
This IS the game we're all playing on Earth isn't it?
Of course, I've never gave up and will not give up on us. But those words...

Maybe it's God's way of reminding me to look around me and tell me how it's like to be losing them?
And I should be grateful for this to happen?

I couldn't sleep cos of all the crying and nose block and how one hurt just reminds me all the previous's although unrelated. Now.. I'm just slowly getting lost and giving up the battle to stay awake... Zzzz...