Dear Blog,

I miss you so much blogggg!!
:(
I have so much to tell and always wanted to tell.
But everytime i open up YOU, my blogpage, I ended up not writing.

it's been a while. A lot of things happened. Yet a lot comes under one. I guess?
Sighs.
I guess, i'll update soon? Or not. =/

I realised i have less than 3 weeks to cheong for my finals!
AND i felt like I haven't even started my semester yet! You get what i mean?
I am totally clueless on what we're studying now considering the fact that I've been skipping lectures and even tutorials. For many reasons. Good and bad.

SO, I am going to hang up the "NO DISTURB" sign and discipline myself. TAHAN for at least these few weeks! It's merely few weeks and it's over!!!

It might or it might not be over. =/ Depending on whether I get to study Minor in Entrepreneurship.

I dont know la.. I have a lot of things to do and a lot in mind. There are family commitments lately, there's this part time job, there's piled up assignments every week, meetings and events. If you think I'm not stressed out, think again. But even if I am, it's not like I'm going to tell you all.

Anyway, I know there's no one else to blame but me.
It's my responsibility to pull this altogether and make it work.

Hence, I have to bear in mind to focus. FOCUS for the next weeks for finals.
The rest, comes later.

Wishes.

It's been a while since i've last smile from heart.
Haha.

Well, good thing is I'm recovering.
I guess it was the tiredness being a nuisance for the past few days.

It's a good thing, it's a good thing.
Lol, finally sth not so depressing after few emo posts huh.

There's sth I really wana post abt.
But right now i gotta get my uni workloads done.

Hopefully i can write it out tmr.
Till then. :)

Im feeling more and more distant from you all

Give me a direction.

Lately, I've been pretty emo or rather, I was having mood swings I would say.

Im sure you guys noticed that.
Or you dont?
Hmmmm...

It's just, I feel so drained. Whether emotionally or physically..
I really wana recover and freaking get myself out of this shit.

But even taking a nap, I get all those msgs and phone calls coming in.
I slept when I reachedd home abt 8+pm till abt 12am, then showered and here I am.

Im alone.
I feel ultimate blankness.
I didnt wana have anything to do with the world.
I just dont know what am I doing!

You know, for the past few days, I really really wished you guys would have taken the initiative to contact me?
Sorry.. I think I've been ridiculous lately..
I just dont know what to do.

But well, I know I need to finish up whatever I'm suppose to do for Uni.
Again, I know I'm being ridiculous BUT gosh, can't I just freaking get a week break from all these..
I know I shouldnt take my grandpa's funeral as an excuse to not do things, to BE emo etc etc.

Sighs. I just feel like complaining.
I just..
been through couple of things i guess..
Or still going through

Lost track of time and date.

I dont know what's wrong with me!
I clearly dont!

But I know. No matter what.
I need to put myself back together at start gearing up for upcoming tasks.

I know.
I will.
But maybe just not now.
Not this very moment.

Tell me what to think. And what NOT.

i hate to feel this way.
:'(

for a moment, it felt like i've so many people around me and yet i felt lonely.

Goodbye. The word I didnt get to say.

If u see a girl sitting in a corner of the mrt tearing, will u wonder what has happened?
Well, the girl might have just lost her grandfather..

I received a text (out of the blue) from my dad, saying my grandpa passed away..
I was in a group discussion for my assignment.
So I excused myself to make a phone call.

I tried as much as I could to hold back my tears during discussion.
There were moments during the discussion that I was spacing out.
Partly cos I was so tired from lack of sleep yesterday night, I couldnt really respond to it.

After the discussion, I went to the toilet. OK~ I sobbed for a SUPER short while in the cubicle.
But I was lucky cos I had enrique by my side (Thank you so much for keeping me accompanied).

I was worried about chyi and wen which are in Europe.
How're they coping?

And my grandma..
I did go to her personally when she was watching drama alone in the room when everybody left. I asked if she's okay. She said she's okay.
BUT you know when someone says he or she is okay, THEY'RE NOT right!

(Imagine having someone sleeping beside u all the time and suddenly, nobody's sleeping beside you..)

I should have given her a hug.. =/
That's the least I could have done la...

Nevertheless, gong gong.. I hope u'll rest in peace and look after us from above.
You're missed.
I wish there was a chance for us to get some last words.
If there were, what would you say?

Would you tell me in my dreams?

*shit la.. probably can't study or do anything for the next few days.. Funeral and all.. AAAaaa!HOW HOW HOW. 2 tests, 2 assignments, 1 formal lab report! DIE. Can I NOT GO TO UNI NEXT WEEK!*

深处的感慨

Life can be so short yet so long huh.
haha.
Well, are there times when you suddenly lose faith and dont know what else to believe again?
Or at least you dont remember what you held on to so firmly once upon a time?

Even if the whole world falls on you and you feel like falling apart and giving up,
My friend,
Never lose faith..
Because if everyone loses faith,
The Earth will no longer spin!

And dont lose faith,
for I am still here with you.
HUGS.
我的内心是在哭着的。可是，我会提醒我自己，不可以这样！:)
Right now, at this very moment, Tasha, Tara!!! I miss you all very much.