TNJ reunite =D

(was drinkin orange juice that time, nicee~ sundae damnnnnn adorable right? It was me trying to bark at sundae (or Sunday the dog) at the end.. =P)

fetch tasha and then wanni (which decided to tag along this morning) to visit tara.

she had a bad pain attack yesterday evening, for continuous 3 hours!!! Gosh. The whole family cldn't take it anymore and called the master.

yesterday i was in the room to help out the master for a while. It's sth like a massage therapy, pressing on the nerves... From what i've observed, it's her left side that's having problem. The back having the pain and left hand + leg feeling the numb. Auntie sheena said they're most likely goina admit her into hospital again.

really hope this is the time. The real cure for her.

and oh ya, i ate dinner at tasha's place :P chicken cassarole... sth like that.... yummmyummmm~ ;P

HEART TNJ

i have leo club dinner tomorrow night!!! and i sooooooo soooooo almost forgotten! AND im suppose to teach my brother tuition!!!! urgh. i am like changing all the tuition time for this week and parents sure think im going out a lot cos yesterday i was out whole day, then later im going out for dinner, tomorrow wanni might wana come AND kor had to fetch me thursday night (which is already carrying forward the friday's tuition class! and now i hafta make it earlier and my brothers finish school late that day!! aaaaa!! someone say i feel ya homey~ pls?) :(

HENCE, i wont be home from thursday night onwards till next monday... AND we're planning on a genting trip next week, wed and thurs....... DO u think my parents will still let me go?!? eventhough it's like my holidays right now?! Afterthat, might still be planning to go clubbing and also what about kc and hs's birthday? @@ ahhhhh... I'm so DEAD! *grasping for help*

confused kid.

almost 4am and im still up!
shoosh.
well i was tired and everything. But internet kept me hangin on.
getting hungry too.
ah... lonely lonely night.. :P
Im seriously tired. Maybe i shld just lullaby myself to sleep. =P
what is wrong with me? was it cos of what she said to me? or it never happened anyway? or am i just stepping in a lil deeper? or it's just a phase like i said?

i was playin' some old songs on the piano and to only come to realise certain things which happened lately.

i guess there'll always be this small lil thorn deep down inside no matter how over it you are.
it's funny how i just realised what im doing huh. i really hope u're doing fine too. sometimes it kills me to just think about it. i might have pretty much got over it, but my wound still tend to get torn. still pretty much gets me right there. ouch ouch. sigh. lol.
On the other hand, i guess it's NTU first if they accept me. If they don't, america IT IS :).
yeah, are'nt you happy jinni just cut all her long-winded updates SHORT?!

perhaps just cant bring myself to talk so much tonight... Nightiez.
Meeting tasha tomorrow and hopefully tara too!! =)

P.S. Been "Ugly Betty"-ing the whole day! =P

sweet talks?
hmmm.

it's either my thyroid's back or I'm just having a rough day.
CORRECTION- rough dayS.

OKAY FINE~ ROUGH times.

Mood swing. Stop pissing me off.

NOT pms.


Just everything gets on my nerve. Stupid people.

Speaking my mind out. (too long a post. don't read)

Everytime i looked up to the starry sky, i can't help but to let my mind wander round the Universe.

I'd start thinking, what's next?

How's my future goina be?

U.S. or Singapore?

Everytime I'm driving, i'd start thinking about the same thing PLUS my friends and family

and what happened lately.

Everytime I do house chores, I'd start talking to myself about all these in my mind.

haha.

So, what's next, REALLY?

It was a 50-50 for america and singapore initially.

Then somehow it went to 65-35 where 65's for singapore. Cos i felt like giving up in going to america. Partially cos i kinda want to go to NTU with kiat and choonseng; Partially cos it's a country Im much more familiar with and that I shouldn't have much problem adapting to the new environment; Also, it's nearer to my friends and family in Malaysia; Not forgetting, I wouldn't hafta wait for a year before I enter university IF i am going to NTU.

Well, the fact that parents are out for this whole week and I had to play a good role as the eldest daughter and eldest sister did give me much thoughts about it.

Haha, you must be wondering what does that had to do with my decision in making a choice between singapore or america.

I must confess that I don't really enjoy doing all sort of stuffs for my brothers. But I wanted to be a responsible sister. Probably I was amazed by wen, yeechin and keecynn being a sister. Especially wen and yeechin. How hui actually listen to wen and how wen was willing to teach hui for his O-level; How yeechin arrange what she thinks is best for her siblings and also how her siblings listen to her as well.

Keecynn ain't exactly the eldest but yeah, she's kinda replacing her mom's role. Taking responsibilities and all that, though she's having maid now.

And so, i started questioning myself, why am I not like that? Have I been a selfish sister and just cared about myself and JUST ME having fun or too busy trying to settle MY OWN stress?

How come my brothers don't listen to me?

That day, dad called from Singapore asking if I have fed bruce and onion. I was answering him with the "I've-done-it-all!" tone. Lol. "Fed already lor! Bathed them also! and I'm tutoring Sern! *laughs* "

(Oh that was my first time bathing bruce and onion, though not thoroughly cos i was afraid to touch their private parts, LOL)

Dad: Wah, so good girl ah nowadays..

Me : Tau tak ape! (Good that you know!) *laugh laugh laugh*

Hahahahahaha. Dad laughed also and said will bring us out for movie this weekend or sth.

You know, I used to strive hard thinking I wana make my parents feel proud of me. I've always been giving myself pressure on academic wise and other aspects in school. But it's never enough for them, I thought. They ALWAYS have sth to complain about.

"Not good enough" "Why is it so bad?" "Don't you know how to manage yourself"

etc etc.

It's not that they're not contented I guess. It's just their way of teaching us. They don't really praise. Cos they think that the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.

They didn't realise it has negative impact on us. But I guess there's pros and cons for everything you do, the way you handle it.

Anyway, I think dad must be glad that his daughter has grown up. =)

That is what makes your parents proud actually, right?

I won't deny I'm still quite a spoil brat which pule, whine and complain, throw tantrums, having the tendency to splurge and my childish times. I'm still like any other teenager who wants to have FUN, throwing responsibilities aside.

My slackness manifest it all for the past few days. As much as I reminded myself about my responsibilities, there are a lot of thing that I dumped aside and facebook-ed + msn-ed instead.

Not following the schedule I planned, not doing house chores, etc.

Today I woke up realising how indisciplined and disorganized I am. That is why I always ended up in a mess.

Initially, I was quite stressed out looking at the schedule i planned for tuitions for my brothers. But I learn to take things as it goes. I learned to tell myself not to get stressed out and that I can handle it well. I still procrastinate a lot. That's why I need to get organized AND disciplined. :P

I didn't wana be NATO (No Action Talk Only).

So today I did the laundry and finally fold the clothes which are so wrinkled, etc. HAHA

Oh, did i mention? I told jye quite a lot of stuff lately. Discussed about his passion also.

Bottomline is, I think I have learnt to take up responsibilities seriously and I want to learn to be independent and strong. Going to america all by myself will teach me a lot of things. I'd go through tonnes of trials and tribulations but hey, every lesson learnt is the treasure I gain in my life. Yes, true, I'll learn sth if I go Singapore also right? Yeah, perhaps. But I'm pretty sure with my family around, I'll still be in comfort zone.

Going to america also means getting different exposure, broaden my social network.

Of course, I can always do my degree in Singapore first then Masters somewhere else. Just that, I think this is the best time to drill myself. In my opnion, studying Masters overseas is a whole different experience already cos u're already an adult, like officially adult. Yeah. LOL.

So, I was thinking, YEA, I'm mentally and physically prepared to take the road less trodden!

To wait for a year, it's not long, not too short either.

To be honest, I AM worried if I'll start slacking by then.

But I'm sure I'll find out more stuff during this period of time.

I always think life's much more than this. Life out of house ain't easy at all, I know. I'll know even better when I experience it myself. =P

SO, america? HAHA. I'll talk to my parents about it again. They've been persuading me to go to Singapore first.

If it's due to financial problems, I'd really like to find ways to settle it myself. Easier said than done, but still. That's the whole reason why I insisted in going to america right? To be independent and to make myself mentally stronger.

We'll see. I hope I'm not like hangat-hangat tahi ayam dohh~! Suddenly get all timid again and gets back to singapore. HAHA.

Whatever it is, all I know for now is that I love my family and friends and count my blessings for having them. Nothing's more important than this right? Dreams.. Yeah, maybe. But w/o them, how meaningful can a dream be! yes? no?

I HEART YOU ALL.

story of a hero (ME) murdering a worm (victim) xP

HAHA. This morning when i let bruce and onion out, I saw a HUGE long-fat-red-worm with many many legs! ewwwwww!!!! Okay la, it's actually like our one-finger-width & length.
I wish someone could help me snap pictures or record the whole process! U'll either laugh at me or think that i over-dramatized it. But seriously, i hate all those creeping creatures! They give me chills! <<>>

Sadly no pics. Nvm, u visualise k?
when i opened the gate for bruce and onion, i saw this creature creeping on the wall!! Ewww..!! I could feel the shiver right down to my spine and screamed! I bet bruce and onion must be wondering what's wrong with me! LOL. I was thinking hard how to get rid of the big fat red worm while bruce and onion are waiting impatiently for their food.
Thought of gettin' newspapers and just smash it and crunch it but i couldnt bring my body nearer to the worm, not even like one foot away. I could literally feel my bulu roma (hair) standing! ggrrrgggrrrr...chillsss.
Bruce kept staring at me. Lol. I kept giving out weird noises. LOL.
He must be wondering why am i so afraid of this small lil creature!

At that very moment, i wish there's a man in the house who can help me to get rid of that thing! Unfortunately, i had to be THE man and get rid of it myself. So i called vincent THE man to ask for advice while screaming! LOL. Thought of calling choon but he must be sleeping and blur. Besides, kor's damn pro in killing this kinda creature!! He's a murderer!! xP

Use detergent!!! It works!!!! LMAO. Im serious! U can actually see the worm shrink!!! And there's this yellowish fluid coming out... Ewww.. HYPERTONIC is the word! YEAH (credits to jye for reminding me of that bio term). The red worm turned black and SKINNY!! Like chao tar (hangus) like that... still crawling though!

Wanted to sweep it but urgh. For some reasons, i couldnt. In the end i just covered it with newspaper and... STEP! While shivering. Then i was thinking, did i actually step on it or not? Ok, put more newspaper on top and STEP AND JUMP AND STEP AND JUMP!!!!!
This time confirm die le guarhhhh... Hence, took more newspaper and wrapped it up! I used almost half a copy of newspaper to murder just a worm! LOL.

Ahhhhh... finally... Bruce and onion get to eat and live happily ever after. xP
But i still had to suffer and clean their poops. With my bare hands and newspaper. Sick.
and that's the story of me and the worm xP

-THE END-

!lol!

sneak peeks

heh :) finally some time for ya, my dear bloggie! =D

Days since A-levels exam had been busy, constantly filled with stuff to do whether it was for work or for fun. I am so SORRY cos if u were to read my blog, u'd hafta bear with my lengthy-wordy-essay-like posts. I know it's quite a turn-off, but oh wells, can't help it! =P

sigh.

Timetable for A-level exams, i'd say not very well arranged cos we had 3 continuous days of tough papers which are FM 1, FM2, phy p4 and chemi p4. My physics p4 was badly screwed. I really dont wana think about my results right now. At least trying not to picture how's it goina be like. Fear just creeps in whenever "A-levels" or anything related is mentioned.

After those 3 days, it was much of a relief such that we were more slacking already. We had the karaoke and movie session on my last 2nd day of exam, then the ice-skating session on my last day of exam. In between those 2 days, there was going gym with huishan and visiting tara. (i miss u babe, so SORRY for i couldnt make it last week cos my car masuk hospital for a plastic surgery (lol) and then i went redang... if I could, i'd really like to see u this week but my parents are outstation this week... Things keepin me occupied. :( Haha, why do i talk so much when i know tara wont be reading this? =/ )

and so that was the last day of exam for some of us, 10th June 2009 (wednesday)

went sunway pyramid and choon drove my car :)

yep, ice-skating we went and URGH, u shld see the bruises and cuts i've got out of it.

*the karaoke pics aren't with me, i think it's with vincent and yc. Lots of videos with yc! These 2 fellas always dont upload... Didnt pass it to anyone of us also... Perhaps one day, hopefully, i'll get em and upload for ya all =D *

After exams, been busy cleaning up my room and yes.. i did rebonding when i went for a haircut. Wanted to just do treatment but the hairstylist suggested rebonding for a better effect. So yep, notice the difference? Lol.
And hell yeah, it cost RM400+.. Parents weren't really happy abt it. sigh.

Yeah, that was thursday and friday. Busy cleaning up my room till saturday morning in fact. Then rushed to tesco to meet cs, hs, yc and kc. Grocery shopping!! =D

saw ms. elizabeth there and chee fai's mom.

And oh, kc drove my car to drop cs to pack his stuff while i had to go 1U to get marshmallow! Stupid tesco dont sell those marshmallow. By the time we reached home, we were all quite tired.

After resting for a while, we had to start workin'!!

That was also the day i lost my RM24 (and RM12 more with xiaoly..) and my door knob (see below)!!



Yeah, the whole farewell party thing, was tiring but fun. =) That night, cs, hs, kc and i chat till 6+am... Haha. Yet, im one of the earliest to wake up!

When they were deciding how to go home and planning to go sungei wang+timesquare to shop for redang trip... I realised Im not goina have a car for a week! Eventually, i followed kc and stayed over at her place. =D look thru her photo albums and stuffssssss and saw the way kc and keejinn fought, damn funny! Saw bunny also! Adorable lil fella. =)

woke up early, didnt know what to do.. kc was still sleeping.. HENCE, the pic with the piggy :P

hehheh! my body look hot from this angle right? xP

Pretty PRETTY kc!!! =)
yea, we kinda dress each other up.

Yeah, i did learnt some stuff abt kc's family, get to know kc a lil more :)

and then shopping for redang trip!!! =D ok, initially we all got tired waiting for honey and syafiq to come. We gave syafiq a small lil bday surprise la (in advance) :)

sorry fiq... it's not really a HUGE thing.. Hope u dont mind...

Eventually, we slowly recharge our battery and got hyped up at madam ...'s restaurant. (i forgot what is it called.. Madam sth.... xP) haha, i started to get closer to cs that day. or was it before that? i duno.. lol.

After everybody left, there was hs, yc, kc and me left. Huishan, me and yeechin!!!! Yes i said yeechin! Tried bikinis together. The process was hilarious!!! LOLOLOL.

*more pics on shopping for redang in facebook. CHECKOUT! xP *

yeah kc was actually crying at the back of us cos of her brother. That day, i really felt like kc's my lil sis and felt obligated to protect her. :) we sat monorail together and then she switched to lrt while i switched to ktm. So we went separate ways alone and it was our first time taking train alone in Malaysia.

Yup, tuesday and wednesday till thursday evening, it was all about preparing for redang trip (went to bank, packed for redang, layan a number of ppl..) and lots of drama before that. Vincent knows it all. Right kor? =)

and...FINALLY, our long waited redang trip!! If u view the redang trip album i uploaded in facebook, u shld be able to more or less follow the story.

i followed belle to bus station. Kiat, choon, kevin were there before us. Omgosh, kevin's dad is damn damn young!!! "I can't take it!" said kor (vincent). Gosh, wait till u see it with ur own eyes la kor. In the bus... Haha. choon said this to me, "can u pls sit down? don't be centre of attraction can ah?" :'( Lol. I was thinking: Was i that noisy? So i just sat down quietly afterthat.

Hahaha, k la. It was a misunderstanding. He had no intention at all to scold me. He wasnt scolding me. So yep, im fine with that now, ok?

Throughout the long journey in the bus, most of us didnt sleep well. Few of them didnt sleep at all. Pictures of the journey are still vivid in my mind now. =) I remember seeing this HUGE petronas thingy and the blue flame and spectacular lightings.. Beautiful stars... and people waiting for bus at the bus stop like 3+ or 4+am!!!!! WTH. LOL.

Reached Kuala Terengganu station, waited at McD and there were some complications settled behind the scene. lol. Then we were splitted. 6 of us had to wait for the next ride to the office thingy. Afterthat, cs, kiat and i were splitted from the rest again. The whole journey was practically exhausting, had no appettite to eat that day. All these parts are clearly shown in pics and captions in facebook (the camwhoring and all).

1st day, we went snorkelling at marine park. I almost lost to hotel room key. Thanks to that stranger. REALLY! kinda get phobia of snorkelling d.. In the evening, we were playing by laguna's beach.. Me and kor 'pak toh' and camwhore also. LOL. At night, we played card games, drink alcohol +truth or dare.. I was kinda drunk. LoL. I was conscious la, just that i could really feel the heat and heart pumping fast, felt sleepy, the whole environment look a lil gloomy for a while when i was resting on belle's shoulder. I just kept quiet while the rest gets crazy. HAHA. I also fell of the beach chair and woke up to realise that i was alone there!! With dai lou so creepy at the back. Couldnt see anything that time.

2nd day, most of em cldn't wake up for breakfast. Went snorkelling with kiat, cs, belle and shathis before lunch time. Walked around alone in the afternoon checking out what others are doing. Sth like that. Chat with yc in the evening while the rest snorkelled. Share a lil secrets. Not really secret also la. It's like story of our life kinda thing. lol. Just nice to talk to her la. heart u yc! :) A lot of small lil things happened throughout the day and she happened to know. So yeah..
I duno if he knows these things are going on behind him was actually about him. Sometimes i really feel like telling him. But i guess he'll know one day also la...

We had plans to prank the guys when they're asleep (even before redang. yes.) Paint their nails, put chili sauce in their mouth when they're asleep, conteng their face with... xP so, we girls were planning to have discussion. And before that, we were talking about masturbation and stuff! i know! WTH. Cos of the truth and dare the previous night la... and and and, we saw shathis's gf's pic =)

Anyways, we were going around looking for isabelle and vincent. In the end, we gave up and were pulled into the dance floor by the guys. Danced like mad! =D i was thinking, so this is how clubbing feels like heh? But i bet the real clubbing wont be as nice cos u don't wear flip flops when u club! plus, we were actually.. wearing our pajamas d.. Like, huge T-shirt and shorts la..

Plus, it was by the beach.

Hahahahaha, dai lou, yeechin and kc said i look hOt and pretty when i dance =P ahahahahahahaha! For the first time dai lou (kiat) praised me for real! He's like, seriously, u were damn hot just now, even i as a guy was tergoda =P =P =P

*blush* xP

Yeah... But dai lou, me and choon didnt had enough of the dance la... We took a toilet break and drink water and stuff, by the time we got back there, it was ending already... :(

Yup, that's pretty much all about redang trip. The going back day was awkward for me. yc shld know why... perhaps yc told kc also.


Oh btw, i must say im a lil surprised kevin could talk :P though i've mention this a few times. HAHA, while we were otw back in the van we kinda chat! and i must say, shathis and sabrina blends in well too! =D sporting people. Shaun's hilarious!


jinni hearts all of u! *hugs and kisses*

to leave redang and go back to our own life in separate ways was quite sad. Moreover, i've been so occupied cos my parents arent home. Hafta teach my brother tuition sumore.. Getting more and more lazy to do so... Im so tempted to go out with friends and have fun! Com'on! Im suppose to have my holidays!!! Sigh. JINNI! remember ur responsibilities... yea yea yea... sighhhh. I just feel like whining about it la... Let me complain for a while lor... (Okay, im starting to talk to myself again.. shoot. Sowwie! xP )





That's pretty much all for now. and tasha's coming back tomorrow! So are my parents! Ahhhhh! Finally~~~
another thing bothering me is.. US or singapore.. (more on this in another post later on!)


GOTTA GO FEED BRUCE AND ONION NOW!!! TOODOOS! =D

22nd June 2009 (MONDAY) 10.00am

My eyes are a lil swollen. Yes, cos' i cried yesterday night. Why?
Thanks to my brothers. I was really frustrated yesterday night partially cos im tired, also cos I really wanted to use the Internet and reached home at 9.30pm to get to know that the Internet can only be used till 7pm INSTEAD OF 10pm NOW!! I was like, wtf!
Cos my brothers didn’t do well in exams. And I hafta give in even though I have finished my A-levels. Sigh. I didn’t get to say bye properly to quite a few of them yesterday night at the bus stop. I wanted to sms but my hp’s battery died.

I was eager to get home to use the Internet, in the end, I couldn’t use the internet; I wanted to charge my hp, my brothers wouldn’t lend me the charger, pissed me off even MORE; I switched the sim card to that stupid Samsung phone, I received msgs BUT i couldn’t read em! F! When I switched it back to the sony ericsson, the hp got problem also!
F F F!
I was so grumpy that I wanted to call someone to let it all out but couldn’t get through any of em!
F F F F!
Plus, my parents left to Singapore early this morning and mom was constantly reminding me to do stuff like what time to fetch my brothers to and back from school and tuitions, house chores to do, dad kept telling me how to plan timetable with my brothers and give ‘em tuition... Bla bla bla bla...
F F F F F!
Lol. Imagine how frustrated and grumpy I was. I didn’t scold or scream or shout at people or anything, instead, i just cried. In the end, managed to call yee chin and felt better. I just needed someone to talk to.
After some time, I fell asleep while replying kor’s msg.

Redang trip was alright. Yeah, overall quite fun. =D
Small lil things happened. Nonetheless, i miss redang and my friends. And yee chin, thanks for being there all the time.
Haha. The first day was really tiring initially cos kiat, choon and I had to wait so long to get to the resort and we were splitted from the others. So yeah...
Hmmm... I guess I won’t be telling the details of the trip here. I might upload photos in facebook or sth, perhaps photos will tell more or less of here and there.
Here’s roughly what happened:

First day, snorkelling at marine park, chill out by the beach in the evening, camwhore with kor a bit =D it’s all in syafiq’s camera. Hopefully he’ll upload em. Card games+ alcohol + truth or dare at night.
I was kinda drunk. LOL. Not really drunk la. I was still conscious. Just that heart was beating really fast and i could feel the heat and i bet it was damn obvious my face was VERY red. Yeah, I really don’t have good alcohol tolerance.

2nd day, morning snorkel with kiat, belle, choon and shathis, afternoon chillax with yc when the rest went snorkelling. In between there’s a lot of chatting session. Haha, I must say Shaun and Sabrina really blend in well with us. Really nice to hang out with. =D
At night, the girls wanted to prank on the guys when they’re asleep. In the end, nobody was in the mood already. But im really glad we dance like mad at the “party” thingy. So, this is how clubbing feels like. HAHA =D but choon said this is only like 30% of the clubbing feeling cos it’s without alcohol. Kiat, choon and I didn’t have enough of it. We took a break to drink and go toilet and when we got back there, it was ending already. So sad... =(
(so yeah, we’re planning on a clubbing trip and genting trip. Lol. One thing though, I don’t think clubbing will be as fun or rather as comfortable as dancing that day cos we were all actually sorta in pajamas! Wakakakaka. And flip flops... So it was comfortable dancing. )

3rd day’s basically the day we’re leaving already (which is yesterday). Everybody had to wake up early in the morning. Things felt different. I don’t know why or how. It all slowly happens. Perhaps it’s just us, human complicating stuffs that are so simple.
And so, we had our LONG LONG 7 hours journey back home.
and now i really miss all of you and the island when we’re all back to our own life. Sigh. That’s how it works i guess. Fun then work then fun then work. Haha.
I love you all! Big hugs and mucho kisses! =D

karaoke to the max! :)

i saw tek yen in MNG the curve just now. Well, basically she's working there. Yes, the usual response i get from those who know me during high school or earlier times. "OMG, why are u so fat?!? Become fei po already! OMG, what happen to u!!! U're really a fatty now!!!"

Gosh, god damn it. I wish I could leave that place in a blink of an eye. I hated myself so much at that very moment. I wished there's a hole for me to jump in and hide from everyone. Sobs and Argh.

Despite all the grudge and sadness, i did had great fun today. Karaoke with buddies and night at the museum was hilarious, lol.

and im really sleepy now...... hopefully going gym with huishan tomorrow.

urgh. so annoyed. hafta study but dont feel like it. urgh. urgh.

I hope with no expectations. -Jinni

sigh. Dilemma indeed. It's like, i want to but yet don't dare to. I don't know what to or how to think either. Gosh, i wasted another day not studying. Im just slacking like hell. I slept almost throughout the day. It feels good. But i slowly feel afraid if i don't start studying, later not enough time to study again.

I just feel reluctant... Sigh.

and this song "unfair" by kate voegele is damn nice! Check out her whole new album! Ahaks, chyi told me about it. Damn nice, check out!




the city sleeps
so silently
wish I could say the same for me
but Ive got this dead ended street
to keep searching
for a tunnel underneath the bitter truth
or a bridge invisible I wont fall through
and I dont know how much I can keep
letting you unravel me
cause the more you learn the more we share
we were worlds apart and you see
it was so much easier to be
cause now I know what we cant have and its so unfair
I never meant
most of those pretty words I said
but I wanted you to think I did
cause telling you all this makes no difference
its useless
cause those who get to know our hearts the most
they always seem to be the ones well never hold

chorus
cant you see its destroying me?
I cant stand the closeness
but dont you dare go avoiding me
it kills me and yet it keeps me going

chorus

你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗？

喜歡和愛咫尺千里。

當你喜歡一個人時，你想和他在一起，因為他會帶給你快樂；
離開後，你會想念，想著想著就會笑，然後繼續你平靜的生活，並期待著與他再一次重逢。
當你愛一個人時，你想和他在一起，那是一種牽腸掛肚的捨不得，怕他受委屈，怕他不能好好照顧自己；
離開後，你也會想念，想著想著歎一口氣，'不知他現在過的怎樣？'然後你繼續你平靜的生活，希望他早日回到你身邊。

你喜歡的人在你眼中是天使，無所不能，他總會滿足你的任性的要求。
你愛的人在你眼中是孩子，傻傻的，你不期望他做出什麼'好事'來，只一味縱容他那些讓人哭笑不得的舉動。

你會希望你喜歡的人陪著你，然而你心中想的可能是你愛的人；
你會希望陪在你愛的人身邊，看他在你面前睡得如此安逸甜美毫不設防的樣子，你會微笑，會覺得好幸福。

你喜歡的人傷害了你，你會生氣，並且一定要讓他哄著騙著逗你笑你才原諒他；
你愛的人傷害了你，你只會獨自傷心，因為你怕對他大吼大叫會嚇著他，你憂傷地微笑著，看著他的眼睛，一旦發現他的眼裡流露出歉意和悔恨，你會立即心疼地摟他在懷裡，那一刻，你也是幸福的。

你可以同時喜歡很多人，你會希望和很多人在一起，但也許很多年後你才發現，原來你愛的就只有那麼一個，就那麼一個，怎麼都不會變，你以為把他忘記了，其實只是忙的沒空想起而已，
對於你喜歡的人，你關注的是他的優點；
對於你愛的人，你關注的是他的缺點，並且，那些缺點如果無關原則的話，它們在你眼裡是可愛的，獨一無二的。

喜歡和愛其實只有一紙之隔，任何愛都從喜歡開始，
當有天你突然發現，你喜歡的那個人在你眼中不再完美，
而他的瑕疵正如月中的桂影一般讓你更加依依不捨，你會覺得與他光彩照人的一面相比，
你更願意看他在你面前無助的表情，不知道是不是應該祝賀你，
總之，你的感情昇華了


——仰慕不是愛，甚至不是喜歡，當你對一個人只有仰慕之情時，你們在一起便失去了和諧。有人說愛一個人很累，的確是，因為你想為他承擔，可是愛與喜歡相比最大的魅力就在於，當你和愛的人在一起時，你的感覺就像回家了！

okay. Guess wad? I'm in college now...

Yeah, i came all the way here to pass the labcoat and leo vest to siew wei. Thought of studying... But seriously had no mood. Plus, I'm having headache... Those feelings are damn sucky.
But i didn't wana waste petrol and toll money for nth, so i stayed on. stoning. spacing. at the garden area... Lol

Worst of all... No hp no credit already. Sux.
Then I was reading the messages in my inbox trying to delete some messages because... I have about 800 messages in my inbox! If i dont delete the old messages, the new ones wouldn't come in!

So, i was reading messages i kept since last year... Oh wells, u know me... sentimental people like choon... :p We keep 'meaningful' messages... HAHA. Then I realised how things have slowly changed. What is around last year at this time is not around this time this year.. Lol, confusing?
But i was seriously reminiscing... tuning my mind back to the time we just finished spm and waiting for results last year. February 2008... then started college... How i wasn't so close to choon, honey, kiat, xiao ly... How tasha, vik, kev and i used to visit tara together... and how tara wasn't that sick yet and cured for a moment... How i still meet rica and s.ling often...
Let's just say, things change accordingly to time. End of story. Haha.

and now... We're finishing our A-levels already. So fast huh? I was just talking to belle yesterday, remembered how we went from college to college? Well, basically it was just from HELP college to KDU college only la.. Definitely didn't regret coming to KDU rather than HELP =P

Haha, i wonder, how are we all goina walk down the next few years' journey of life...

good morning...

don't ask me why i can use the internet at this time... I dont know! Haha, i thought my dad reset the timer again. But anyways, it doesn't matter. As long as I can use it, I won't complain =P


today goina sit for further maths paper 2 and when im home studying tonight, i'd be damn stress i think. Aiyo, no point stress-ing myself out. Fact is, I wont have enough time to cover both physics and chemistry. So I guess, just maximise and see whatever I can do, the rest... Really, depends on my luck and fate, though I don't really trust luck lately.

mati langgar and tembak all the questions only! Kinda feel like, dont care ady... Yeah, just do my best la.

Can't wait till tomorrow's OVER!!!!!!! AAAAaaaaahhh! =D