The cavalry ain't coming. You've got to do this yourself.

Some motivation this morning :)

From Chris Gardner :

On Life

(1). “The Cavalry Ain’t Coming. You’ve Got To do This Yourself.”

(2). “Make Your Vision Larger Than Yourself”

(3). “It’s Your Responsibility To Pursuit What Matters”

(4). “We were homeless, we were not hopeless. There’s a world of difference.”

(5). “Do something that you love. Whatever you’re going to do is going to be tough enough. Find something that gets you so excited that the sun can’t come up early enough in the morning because you want to go do your thing.”

On Success

(6). “There is no plan B for passion”

(7). “Ready or not, Tell yourself to jump”

(8). “It’s ok to FAIL it’s not ok to Quit”

(9). “Baby steps count, as long as you are going forward. You add them all up, and one day you look back and you’ll be surprised at where you might get to.”

On Pursuits Of Happyness

(11). “You have to be bold because there will be folks who will say “You can’t” or “You shouldn’t” or “Why?” There is a certain boldness to saying “Well, I really don’t want to be a high-powered corporate lawyer. I’m really passionate about painting.”

(12). “Though my mom had too many of her own dreams denied, deferred and destroyed, she instilled in me that I could have dreams. And not just have dreams but had a responsibility to make them reality. My mom taught me from a very early age that I could do anything I wanted to do. ”

(13). “Don’t ever let someone tell you you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream. You gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.” 

From Joel Neoh:

Be comfortable living in uncertainty."

Be happy with nothing. "

Happiness is not having more of what you want, but wanting more of what you have. 

******************************************************************************

TWO movies I want to watch:

The Pursuit of Happyness

Homeless to Harvard

Hurt? .

*breathes* sigh (in relief?)

I guess I finally know why all the hidden sorrow. Guess it's good that I've unravel the knot. Open up the pain & left in bare.

Truth be told, it hurts so bad. It reminded me of all the hurtings once and for all. Lay it bare, right there. Right there.. Heal me. Embrace me.

I feel so cold & lonely in the middle of the night. I feel my trembling legs that were so tired of holding everything up and pushing through. I look into the mirror and I've not seen my face like that for so long. When was my eyes last so red? Hmmm. JN you've lost some weight.. How did I not tell that.. You look pitiful.. Someone please hold me.

Heaven bent to take my hand?

But not to worry.. I'm over the sobbing, blowing nose and all that. Was just thinking maybe she's right after all... You gain sth, you lose sth.
This IS the game we're all playing on Earth isn't it?
Of course, I've never gave up and will not give up on us. But those words...

Maybe it's God's way of reminding me to look around me and tell me how it's like to be losing them?
And I should be grateful for this to happen?

I couldn't sleep cos of all the crying and nose block and how one hurt just reminds me all the previous's although unrelated. Now.. I'm just slowly getting lost and giving up the battle to stay awake... Zzzz...

I seriously feel so annoyed by my parents. Asking me about getting any replies from the companies everyday - EVERY SINGLE DAY as if that will blardy hell help to make the companies reply faster.

Yeah, if they think the job market is so tough out there, shouldn't they stop pressurizing me everyday? Shouldn't they already be proud that despite the tough job market I've ALREADY LANDED A JOB OFFER and am just applying for more to make myself more competitive? FOR GOD'S SAKE, I've only sent in those applications for a week. It generally takes them at least 2 weeks (sometimes even a month or so) to reply.

So f**king GIVE ME A BREAK! It's precisely because they are asking about it everyday that makes it felt like it's been so long since I've sent in the applications when the truth is, I've only sent in for a week!

GOD DAMN IT! I hate to admit it but it BLARDY HELL DOES AFFECT ME. And I just can't vent my frustrationsssss. and facing them everyday blardy hell makes me feel like I'm living in a pressure cooker, going to burst anytime. DAMN IT.

Why da hell not?

So consumed trying to think of all sorts of reasons to say why we can't do this and that or at least, been told so and starting to get consumed by these words.

My question is then, "Why not?"

WHY DA HELL NOT?

adding #7 to the list: Paintball & GoKart with the wealth architects.
And so today I met CK for dinner. I was skeptical but as always, I knew it would be rewarding (skeptical nonetheless).

2 years down the road I'd be nodding in a smile with my eyes closed, breathing in some fresh air and sigh in relief for what I did.
1 year down the road I might be struggling but everything seems to be budding.
0 year down the road - YES, right now, I'd hafta do what it takes to get to the above.

Honestly, I am just so damnnn annoyed by my parents' doubts and they really affect me. I felt like I just have to stay away from these constant questions that pressures me into what they want for me instead of what I want for myself. Then comes the question, Am I being selfish? Am I, really now?

Well, let's look at long term. Give me 1-2 years. Yes Jinni, 1 to 2 years you'll have to endure these.
GDI, i just hate it when people like my parents or grandma doubts me. I feel so angry inside but I know I can't say anything till the results speak for itself. Sigh. ENDURE and thou shalt PREVAIL.

*self-hug*

Fulfilling 23 :)

Wow, it's been a while! There were few times I wanted to post sth but seriously, I've had very fulfilling days in the past few months. I didn't even realize I've been on the move for more than 5 months already! Wow, really?

Anyway, am here because I found a link relevant and helpful to one of my previous post:

How to Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk About

On a side note, let me give you a summary on what has happened since May 2013:

1) Birthday surprises, attending interviews (LTA & SMRT), pack for KL/Chengdu/Tibet/Nepal/Australia, FYP Journal editing

2) Grad Trip (about 6 weeks)
3) FYP Journal editing, Convocation (about 1 week +, including friend's)

4) Internship at DAP (5 weeks in total, including 5 days 4 nights trip to Penang)

5) Job applications & another interview with SMRT (about 1 week)
6) Impian Sarawak voluntary work (5 days 4 nights)

and yes here I am! Phew. Too much to digest honestly but am proud and glad of what I fought for and what I've accomplished.

No money nor time could replace such precious and gratifying experience.

Meanwhile, I need some time to digest the past few months of adventure. I'm gonna back a come-back soon! Stay tuned. :)