En route to Sacramento

 This trip to SF, unlike the first and last one before this, had a little more space and time to digest, sink in a lil bit more.

Just watched an episode of 我是演员 at boyboy's hse. One particular line that struck me was to "lose yourself & be that role", how it's about making the character so believable that the audience see you as the character instead of you.

The BBC (Billionaire Boys Club) movie's paradox theory..

There's just lots crossing through my mind right now, I wish there's a voice recorder inside my brain cos thoughts just cross my mind way faster than I can type... Lol 😅

Determined to get through this. Land grab and sell, let's do itttt

Good day to catch up on lost time, loved ones

Been having that migraine and vomit thing again for the past 2 days, but this time it's milder.
Learning how to heed to my body's call. It's a sucky feeling when the migraine hits, like I just couldn't get up to do things but yet my head is spinning with all the list of things to be done.
Horrible horrible.

But yesterday was pretty much resting even though I went to office, managed to do some laundry and cleaning at home - FINALLY.

Anw, purpose of this post is not to whine but instead, to share the good feelings. I noticed that usually I turned to this blog when I need to vent frustrations or negative feelings. But I think - it doesn't have to be that way. And I'd like to record some of my positive feelings as well.

Today started on a good note, had a long phone call with T, albeit some tears here and there - I do have a good feeling that something's gonna work out this time. And I hope I can help to do at least a little to make it work.

We have a to-do-list:
1. Scanned copies of MRIs and doctor letters/descriptions, if any

2. Compile research articles about growth in spine

3. List down specialists that we would wanna write letters to

4. Confirm appointment with UH - let's see what's their take and if need ops, whether they are open to us inviting specialists to KL for 'research collaboration'

The next good news that came in, B managed to conquer the Ultra Marathon - so proud of her!! It's sth that she has been really wanting to do and to be able to finish it, gosh. Can imagine how much emotions is gushing through her. I feel it for her too 💪

My man is away on  biz trip but distance kinda make the heart grew fonder. Just taking time to make my coffee and continuing my laundry, processing the feelings - all these, already felt like a bliss.

And tonight going to have dinner with DLDS.

Ah. Just letting these seep in and kicking away all the thoughts about work - feels good.

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On a side note, looking back at the past 2 posts, hey Telepod is going international now and the team has grown. Kinda outgrew the space we have 😅

All that stress and mess - we can conquer it too, just like how we always have. There there, we're all good and keep hustling ayte? 💪

Milestone in life

Well. The good thing is - we're finally signing the documents.

I was really anxious and eager to close it. I got really frustrated when it was not moving.
Just imagine - 6 to 8 months of going through this sh*t, and just watching my savings burn month by month.. So close to burning all of it. And.

12 lives to feed.

12 lives in your hands.

It's really heavy to shoulder and I can't, breathe. Not till this is finalized.

I can't eat, I can't everything. Not till this is finalized.

I didn't mean to be angry with him, but it's just. Frustration bottling up when it did not seem to be urgent to him.

The desperation in me is really driving me to a corner.


I went to the rooftop, reflect about today and how I'm easily agitated. I honestly don't know why, maybe it's menses, maybe I'm lost again, maybe I just haven't processed my feelings for some time.

And the more I think, the more I breakdown. After letting all out, now I'm just. Tired.
I want an ESCAPE.

I wished he would come find me by the pool side but I guess, it was but a foolish wish.
Am I so unworthy to you?