"Typical Product of Today's Society" - Does this concern you?

I lament for
we fear the wrong reasons and
we fight, not for the right reasons.


I lament for
what the society is becoming.

The city so vibrant but the humanity,

so foggy.

《 我们的脆弱 》

我們的生活環境總是沒有幫助我們接觸自己的脆弱。

我們的環境總是拒絕接觸我們的脆弱。

當我們脆弱時，我們會被攻擊：你怎麼會這麼弱？

當我們脆弱時，我們會被藐視：你怎麼不夠強？

當我們脆弱時，我們會被羞辱：你真丟臉。

於是，我們和我們的脆弱呈現一種疏離又敵對的關係。我們又十分具有攻擊性的方式對待我們的脆弱。以致我們的脆弱呈現出負向不健康的關係：讓我們變得受害者，無助無力的呻吟著自己的脆弱，同時痛惡自己的脆弱。

若我們願意給脆弱溫柔。讓我們可以在溫柔中慢慢的接觸、慢慢的靠近我們內心脆弱的核心，你會發現，那是用肉作的，不是用石頭作的。所以脆弱的核心，會痛、會受傷、會敏感、會有情緒起伏。

如果，我們可以溫柔的靠近自己的脆弱，不以為恥、不以為對立，不再攻擊....那麼，我們便可以發展與脆弱的正向關係：可以接納、可以撫摸、可以貼近、可以同在、可以理解、可以親近。

我們會知道，脆弱是我的一部份，我包容這部分，並且接納這部分。因此，我可以更完整，更是我自己。

-苏绚慧


A good piece which I intend to translate it into English when I have the time to. :)

Think again.

After reading this How China builds so many trains, so quickly and

The disaster that exposed the underside of the boom,

I feel so.. flabbergasted, grief-stricken and muddled...

I can't help to think again, What do I want for the people? What the people wants?

What is the construction we really want?

The trains, the technology, the convenience OR

the morality and everything otherwise?

Are they non-compromising? Can't we have best of both world? :/

Yet again, after my visit to this old railway station in Mentakab, I couldn't help but to be in affinity with this preserved heritage. It's like a beauty of its own. So comfortable.. and it contradicts my thought of improving public transportation system in Malaysia.

Uhm...

Don't be a fool, You're just a tool

Stand for yourself and don't be afraid to lose him.
Because if he leaves, then in the first place he'snot meant to be cos you're not sth he finds worth fighting for.

And it is reciprocally true for you. He's not worth your time fighting for.

宁愿等对的人 也不该和错的人走下去。

Genie VonVon = Genie of Hope
in (English)(German)(Icelandic)

Sane words.

It's time to play ma game, ma way!

Right back at ya. Hahs.

I took my stand. Undeniably I still like him, but it's a wake up call. It's time to stop giving in.
I like his qualities, our memories.. But they're not the same thing! Not to be juxtaposed, right?
Well, time will tell.. if he's worth it. :)

At least, I know he's concern. The answers don't matter anymore.
I wouldn't say I'm in control of the situation or in control of him but I'm definitely in control of myself!
Gained my control and I can't be any prouder of myself.

Quote my facebook status today:

Everyday, I tell myself to be thankful and appreciative about everything and everyone around me.
Today, I realized, how can I forget!
..to thank myself and acknowledge my effort each day?

You've done well Jinni. :)

Never more sane when it comes to this despite mentally and physically tired.
You've done well Jinni. Done well. *Smile with closed eyes*

因为你值得。

Jinnigannnnnnn, don't get so eaten up by failures!

Don't feel so defeated and lose confidence..

Because if you do, you're gona start acting as though the whole world is tumbling down on you..!

Failures should be your motivation, should make you realize what you want even more!
And you know it. You've all the strength to fight, to charge forward.
YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

自甘堕落，值得吗？

当你发现这个世界有多大，充满了更多的机会和梦想，你在困扰的事情 有比它们更值得你去想吗？

不值得啊！不值得啊！

失败并不代表你不值得！每一次的失败，是要你为了更好的 而奋斗。

因为你值得。

Gallimaufry

Jinni Gan, don't be fucking stupid *slap*slap*

You're fucking too busy and have too much work to catch up to even think about all these.

He's not the only 'busiest' person on Earth. YOU ARE TOO!

Why waste time getting affected and worst of all, let it influence your performance?

For god's sake, you're in your final year! NONONONONONONO.


WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP.

Careers, goals, dreams, remember?


WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!


Ahhhhh, so much work :(

Pursuing Meaningful Life.

Ok, so this is another rare post. In fact almost never written about stuff like this before.
P.S. Cut the crap and start reading from the 2nd section highlighted with "Main Point".

So last night I was on my Flipboard till I fall asleep again.
I happened to read about Malala Yousafzai from BBC News.

Then just this morning, after studying, when I had the usual fingers' temptation to type "facebook.com"...
I figured, gosh, I waste so much time of Facebook just scrolling up and down the news feed, looking at photos, my own profile repeatedly, EVERYDAY. Why?

"I must change this habit. I need to seek a meaningful website. And I look forward to the day I start typing other alphabets instead of typing "f" + "Enter" -> Haha, you know what I mean, don't you?!"

Exactly that! *points above*

Not that going to Facebook is a sin BUT I'm a self-confessed Facebook addict.
Just thought that it is rather pointless repeating the same thing again and again w/o benefiting from it.
That's as good as extravagantly spending another moment with no meaning.

Seriously, I don't know what struck me lately. Why am I being so different?
SO...organized, focused, neat...
Everything I used to be so lazy to do?

*******************************************************************

Okays, all that aside. Main Point -> I went to CNN.com and I saw this:

Official: Pakistani teen blogger's shooting a 'wake-up call' to 'clear ... danger'

So I read up about the Taliban which led me to Mullah Omar, which then link up to Osama bin Laden via Abdullah Azzam.

“	I am considering two promises. One is the promise of Allah, the other of Bush. The promise of Allah is that my land is vast...the promise of Bush is that there is no place on Earth where I can hide that he won't find me. We shall see which promise is fulfilled.	”
—Mullah Omar, 2001

Last but not least, the National Hero of Afghanistan - Massoud.

********************************************************************

Couldn't help but wonder. What's the root of all these??

Did it all started from Sheikh Azzam? 

Why or how then did Azzam embrace such ideologies?

The existence of "Offensive jihad" and "Defensive jihad" (which I am still not very acquainted with yet)?

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I mourn for the dark side but am glad there's the bright side like Malala and Massoud.

Can't help but to be curious about the seemingly incomprehensible world.

Breakthrough :)

This is a whole new level. 


After years of struggle, you'd come to realize that 
the greatest satisfaction comes 
not from how much you achieve in a given time,
instead, it is how you can achieve so much and yet be a happy person
throughout and at the end of the process
without exhausting yourself.


The ability to embrace and execute with grace.


That's how it should have been!
Who says you have to complete a task miserably anyway? YOU DID!
Yes, you YOURSELF.
Nobody put a gun at your head and say, 
"You must get all stressed up while you're rushing for deadline."
"You shall be miserable doing this or that."


It's you It's you It's you!



What's the point of working so hard, so much and at the end of the day, 
you find yourself exhausted and all miserable? And you lose so much more in the end!
You lose your temper (maybe on your friend and hence lose a friend?)..
You lose so much time being miserable (when you could have been enjoying)..
You lose so many unseen things that are highly valuable.. Things you overlooked.



Now, it may seem difficult to not feel so negative when things get so overwhelming..
But really, it isn't impossible! Proven and tested (by me :p ).


Don't be driven by externalities. Let the internal you drive yourself and external factors would no longer matter because YOU'RE IN CONTROL of yourself. Hence the environment won't seem to affect anymore.



Even the gloomiest day seem to bloom! Haha :D
It's the action-and-reaction chain. When you feel good, the day gets better.

Remember,

Success ≠  Happiness

Success + Happiness = What we really want

" It's always about how willing are you to face it or to let go some of the stuff.. Not so much about "things you can't do" or "you don't have the time for it". 物是死的；人是活的。能变则变。"

It's just how you manage within yourself (whether it's positivity, receptivity, persistency, consistency...)

At the end of the day, ask yourself, what do you value most? Is this worth it?
You'll know what to do then! I'm sure.

Last but not least, reward yourself! Make yourself happy! Give yourself a break. :)
休息是为了走更长远的路。

With all that, we should be able to go the extra mile, happily. ;)

All you and I wanted in life is someone that makes you tea and toast in the morning.

Tom was born in 1942
With eyes of blue
And the doctors said that his birth was far too fast
His heart stopped twice
But yet he survived
As he took his first breathe
His mother took her last

And his father knew that he wasn't to blame
But he never quite looked at Tom the same after that
And he rarely spoke about her
But when he did
He said your mother used to say this


When the skies are looking bad my dear
And your heart has lost all it's hope
After dawn there will be sunshine
And all the dust will go
Skies will clear my darling
I'll wake up with the one I love the most
And in the morning, I'll make you up
With some tea and toast


When we met through a friend
Who introduced them
The first thing Tom said was would you like to dance?
They moved with each other and when the music got slower
He said don't let go of my hand
He said It's only polite if I ask you tonight
Would it be alright, if I could walk you home?
That night he told of of his birth
And said when it hurt
He thought about what his mother said about tea and toast

Two quick years went by
They were side by side
And without a plan, they conceived a little child
He said women I love you and this you know
But I only have enough for our food and clothes
But I love you and this baby
Until the day that I die
She said we'll take care of this little life
And we'll fall in love with her baby blue eyes
And we'll be alright from some advice that I know

She said I never got to meet her
But if I did, I'm sure your mother would have said this


When the skies are looking bad my dear
And your heart has lost all it's hope
After dawn there will be sunshine
And all the dust will go
Skies will clear my darling
We'll show this baby all the love we know
And in the morning, I'll make you up
With some tea and toast


Well he took those words
And he made them proud
He worked day after day
And hour after hour
So that they could buy a little house on the outside of town
The little girl grew up and so did they
They said that they loved each other everyday
And forty years later, that brings us to now

And as they're walking down the street
Her grip loosens on his hand
He puts his arm around her side as she falls to the ground
He hears her breathing and that's the only sound
Her body on the floor attracts a worried crowd
Tears rolls off his face as he says "don't let go, now"

And he's sitting by her bed in the hospital (ward?)
Their daughter walks in with a family of her own
She says "dad, I don't know if she can hear you now
but there's one thing mum would want you to know"


When the skies are looking bad my dear
And your heart has lost all it's hope
After dawn there will be sunshine
And all the dust will go
Skies will clear my darling
Now it's time for you to let go
And in the morning, I'll make you up
With some tea and toast

I just did a brief timeline of my life up till 37 years old.


TOO FREAKING SCARY. Omg.....


Assuming I do MBA (2 years) then PhD (5 years), that's already 7 years of my life man!

Plus 4 to 5 years of working experience after I graduate...

Ummm yes, that's when I'm about 37 years old. Shit. No kidding!?

What about getting marry and all the unforeseen circumstances? That's all not factored in!
*faints*
Half of my life is gone just like that *snap* (And that's assuming I live till 80 years old!)

Hahahahahahahaha. Aiyoyo Aiyoyo Aiyoyo!


Life's but a brief candle. Too short but enough to make it meaningful... So no time to waste!

这个世界实在太有趣了！So much to learn!!! :D

如果我烦恼，我应该为比较有意义的东西懊恼！嗯。

我觉得在成长过程中，心的每个裂痕是用铁来补的。

哪怕有一天，心完全被铁包含了，想心软也有些困难哪！

如果真的有那么一天，能怪谁呢？

从来不想为爱情烦恼的我

Listening to 王韵一's 爱情 on repeat while on the way back to Singapore.

It seems like everytime going back, there's a new song-of-the-journey.

Or at least, the last time it was Christina Perri's Arm,
in mind was Kev.

Now in mind is Will.

有时候不明白，
有时候很混乱，
有时非常愚蠢，
有时问己值得吗？

偶尔折磨，偶尔微甜。
哈哈，想怎样？告诉我嘛！

是不是习惯了别人爱我比较多，所以觉得爱人比较多 很辛苦？

值得吗？好像有很多更美好的梦该去追求，
可是准备好了吗？

那种回到家，一片寂静，那种寂寞，那种独立...
我..可以吗？