The smell, the sound, the breeze, that feeling.

Nothing beats this feeling. =)

Doing my work by the window bay.

Feel the breeze and get cozy..

No rush No noise. Nothing but peace. :)

I miss getting hugs.

brielle.

haha. Something's not right with me lately.

Or have I always been not right? hah.

Well, I guess zk seen the crazy side of me lately. Crazy in a not-good sense. :S

Anyways, Im glad things between me and him are cleared and hence i dont feel as affected.

And exams.. Ah. As much as I said, "It's over!", i still cant help to feel kinda screwed up. I was hoping for something better.

Seriously though, is there a way to train speed reading? Not only reading with speed but also comprehend with speed.

I think i need a immense agility training. Like OVERALL agility. Not only reading or understanding.

I am just SLOW you know.. Or I am too detailed.. Or I have bad time management.

Okay, well, all of the above. =/

S.T.O.P.

i should stop getting so affected.

i dont even know if it exists!

A lot better

I am feeling a lot better compared to yesterday till evening.

:)

soothing musics plus cooling atmosphere sometimes help.

and presence of human beings help too.

I miss all of you dearly :)

Jin-Ni misses her family.

it's kinda weird. lately, greatgrandma(tai ma) appeared in my dream. da yi (aunt) appeared in my dream. gonggong appeared in my dream.

it's been months since gonggong passed away. For the past few months, when i enter that room i was still picturing gonggong's presence. Often, it took me a second to remember that gonggong's not here.

Also cos of that i tend to remind myself to appreciate presence of my grandma.

Most of you know that I've been busy with my minor lately. Irregular meals and sleeping time. I havent seen my dad for 2 weeks plus. It feels like Im living alone.
A while ago, i just saw sern's profile pic. Then i suddenly realised i havent talk to my brothers for very long time. At least jye commented on my status once.. Sern.. Really didnt talk to him since i left msia i think.

I miss my family.
I hope whatever career Im in in the future, it's not something that's so busy such that i hardly connect with my family and friends.

And sometimes when I am lonely, I think of you.

But i guess u're not any better off. Busier than I am perhaps.

Sometimes, I still cant help to question myself.
I usually cant find the answer to my questions.
Nevertheless, time will tell.


People say emotions add lives to objects.
I guess sometimes, emotions add to complexity.

IT struck me.

lately, there's been quite a number of stuff which triggered me to think and stirred up a mixture of feelings in me.

i've been busy with my minor in entrepreneurship.
i've spent days and days with my coursemates.
sometimes, it felt like we're a big family living in a big house (NTC-Nanyang Technopreneurship Center in this case) but yet, sometimes i just dont feel like i fit in with some people.

obviously, it's not fair to stereotype singaporeans but i dont know why being around some of them just dont quite make me comfortable.
I guess it's not really about the nationality then?

I have came to my own conclusion of different upbringing and education really make a difference.
Some might find some weird to do something that he/she are not used to in his/her upbringing.
Chim huh? Im indeed a chim-ologist. Lol.

I dont knowwwww. It's just, sometimes, i find myself a lil more anti-social than i usually am.
Why that discomfort, i wonder?

Often, it's our own mind playing tricks with ourselves. I'd really wish to break myself out of this circle and free myself from all these discomfort of being with some of them.
To them, they might think im too sensitive or they couldnt be bothered about what or how I feel.
To me, it's really just, I don't wana TRY to fit in.

Then again, why do I have to make things so complicated right?
Truth is, I am not. It really is just about how I feel.


Chim-ology aside, hahahaha.
Well, this minor in entrepreneurship course has been pretty anticipating.
I didnt regret taking this course despite the hectic hours and sleepless nights.
I learnt quite a lot.
Haha, initially it's like, fuaaa, semangat giler, spirit of entrepreneurs!
Very amazed by their 'no-complain' spirit, hence, i was like, cheong ahhhhhhhh! Lol.

Then slowly... You know what happens.
And conflicts are inevitable even if they arent the obvious ones.
Like i've always said, wherever there're humans, there're problems!

But I really learnt to see things from another perspective.
Which is one of the reason I feel very anticipated to go for classes although sometimes i cant help to fall asleep in the class. HAHA.

I really wish our course is conducted in such teaching manner. Everything will be so much better! Seminar style. Smaller class. Group work. Everything's much more effective in that sense. If you know what I mean.

And of course, I do miss all my friends in Malaysia or anywhere else.
Haha, on a sidenote, today i met chyi and wen for lunch, then 'doing work' in starbucks with chyi. I really miss those moments i spent with her when we were younger.
Back then, I really like to follow her wherever she goes. Haha :)
I remember how much she meant to me when we were young, so much so that i'd feel so so so sad to leave singapore and always looking forward to meet her.

Years have passed and we're all grown up. It's pretty amazing if we cousins can hang out often. It's a nice feeling.
Well, when we were younger, I wasnt very close to wen.
When we were a lil elder, we 3 hang out a bit from time to time.
But ummmm, i dont know why. I still dont feel quite myself when we 3 are hanging out together.
I actually feel a lil restrained.
They probably dont know. But yeah..
As I grew older, I feel more free to express myself.
And it'd be pretty cool if we can hang out more often and just talk about everything.
It's kinda like my dream to have this kinda relationship, in terms of family of course.

Just now, when i asked chyi abt wen and A. I was actually quite shock to hear that news.
Honestly, it really strucked me.
It made me get more skeptical about relationships.

Sighs.
The world is simple but made complicated by humans' thoughts and feelings.
I am glad to know about some stuff when I was 18 cos it got me prepared for what I faced few weeks back.

weird dream!

I just woke up.
But I had the weirdest dream ever.
I met jay chou in my dream and talked to him.
Rather.. He talked to me.

Kiat, yee chin, kee cynn and sheow ling were in the dream.
Initially the dream was a lil violent or scary.
So weird...
Kiat's like killing people and stuff..(with gun! :o hahaha)
at uni or sth?
i dont know.. i only remember the car park scene.
my hands were tied together at the back and i was sitted on a rolling chair?
yee chin and kee cynn were with me..
3 of us were trying to escape and save/warn others...
omg.. now that i am trying to recall...
more and more people are in the dream...
some from our uni.. some from my high school...

they were marching off some place...
damn weird damn weird!

then..dont know how or what...
i was with sheow ling..
probably escaped jumping from high place down..
sheow ling kinda slipped?
jay chou saw and helped?
like he was just a pass-byer and i didnt even realise he's jay chou..
he said one or two lines and he left with his people...

then at this broad broad field where a lot of people are playing kite...
i was at this corner (i dont remember how) but i was sitting down by this brick wall..
There's like a small stone/brick castle which u can see the field..
Then jay chou passed by again and saw me..
He said hi and asked what am i doing here
I was surprised that he could recognise me..
talked one or two lines then people start surrounding.
so he kinda had to flee.
but he gave me signals and walked into the shop.
i walked into the shop after him.
he gave me this piece of small cardboard with his e-mail and contact number on it.

i still can remember his phone number vaguely..
but it's malaysia's number??

AHAHAHAHAHA