I honestly, seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
It's like there's this sudden emotion engulfing me.
My tears just couldn't stop streaming down. And I feel pain, sadness and fear.
On the outside, I look and sound like I freaking know what's going on and that I have everything under control. But on the inside, deep down, I'm crumbling.
And I'm trying to rebuild again.
Good thing I preserved my wall of encouragement from Uni days. Reading through every single post-its help calm a lil bit of my nerves.
I think - the thought of being 27 years old and the last thing I knew was me being 18 at that house... And everything else in between zoom-passed - the thought of that. FREAKS ME OUT.
In the past few months, a lot has happened. And.. I've been bottling up. Truth be told, I was all numbed. I was all focused on Telepod. I haven't had time to process my emotions.
I can't even remember when it started but everything felt so long ago. She called me, I sneaked out of office.. she was shivering.. from then on, there has been nth short of drama that has happened. All the way, till my grandma's passing. One after another...
Idk why, it's like, everything's getting better (I think), but I...
I guess, I missed those days... where I could be truly carefree and enjoy quality time. Those moments...
Telepod, is like a dream come true but yet, I have caged myself in this pursuit of dreams. Consumed.
and there'll come a day, I'll have to let go...
But for now, I have a team of 8 and more to come to feed. And I can't let them down.
I look to the day I free myself again.
