Just another weird dream.

I dreamt I have a boyfriend. AND girlfriend.
Boyfriend was.. Hmmm. Ok, I'm not goina tell.
But it's aww so suhweet.
Girlfriend was.. HAHA, tara. Cos we're both fed up with guys.
Although the 'boyfriend' in my dream was sweet to me, but he's entangled with so many ex-girlfriends and stuff.
So yea.. A lil sad and disappointing.. Me and tara.. started kissing? and kinda like got together.
Hmmm, so many people appeared in my dream, even this fat cat which i think is maha's pet! Elvis! LOL.

OMG, it's such a weird dream.
Lol.

But somehow, part of me wish part of the dream is true.

Mark my first!

LOL. Yesterday, 23rd Feb 2011 (Wednesday) was my first time clubbing!
I finally actually did clubbing! before 21! LOL.

Hmmmm. I still dont like the alcohol effect. I vomit easily.
All in all, it's truly an experience.
Haha, thanks to Maha. Tsk.

But both, me and my friend, realised we're not really the party animal kind..
I had fun nevertheless :)

Whatever happens to memories and feelings once so dearly to you?

To see me coming clean, it's not easy.

To see my friends break up, it's painful.

The people we once devoted so much and cherished them so dearly..
when you first realised that things between you and him/her,
what's left,
are just photos..sweet and sour memories both has had...

it's not strange at all to feel the heart pinch.

For me, it has come to a point where I don't think what we went through is such a waste anymore.
There's no right or wrong. You and I.
There's a lot of wrong timing. But.
It's no longer the same thing we're talking about.

For her, I feel the pain and think it's such a pity to see them break and her heart shattered.
But as long as you feel alright, my friend, that's what that matters.

It's so strange how things could evolve.

You don't choose who to fall in love with. You can't. 

It comes almost naturally.

- adapted from the movie "No Strings Attached" 

You know, it's really those moments when you start thinking to yourself, "What am I doing?" as the time goes tick tock tick tock slipping away off your hands, that really gets you.

Time catches everyone.

And the world goes round the sun 

And the memory lives on in my heart

Going back to the start

Forever forever forever

- Sandi Thom, Time.

Never

never ever ask or make statements you don't mean to say.

guys are just so capable of doing that.

Today.

Shall be a productive day!

As Always.

I should have known better.

Secrets.

Do you keep secrets? Secrets of your own.. That nobody else knows?
Or just something that you hide from the other person?

One told me this:
"You know how its not healthy to have too many secrets?
 yet its important to have ur own privacy as well?"

I have my fair share of.. actually i wont call them secrets.. It's just something that I wont really talk to people about.. But I guess once it is told and provided the listener understands how you feel, it would be such a relief.
Cos you don't have to hold back these loads on you anymore, at least not so much anymore..

Do you have "secrets" like that? If you think you don't have anyone to turn to, you have me :)


then again i asked myself, who do i have? i have myself..

Happy CNY :)

这几天都很有领悟。

生命里，总会有想要逃避的时候, 但是当你勇敢面对，积极地采取行动，你会发现
当问题不再是你想要逃避的烦恼，不再挂在口头上而没采取行动，那种满足感是远远超越“舒服”地逃避或躲在安全区的感觉。

人，往往怕而逃。怕痛，怕失望，怕离开，不想离开comfort zone（安全区？）
其实，越是怕，越是痛。
越是怕，它越是贴近你。

它，就是你不想面对的事情。

人，可以有很多种想法，也许来自一样的出发点，却终 于不一样的结果。

U're the one..

The one that I would turn to when I don't know who can I talk to.

This cny.. Well, i was quite excited from 'chinatown' onwards.
Here in my home. It's cosy..
But a lil quiet this year.. No mahjong sound..
But got mama's snoring at night :) lol

And it has been raining continuously, literally!

I met him yesterday. I dont know why did I allow myself to do so.
Im sorta numbed and I dont think I should meet him again, at least for this cny..?
I duno. Unless he asks. Which I doubt he will.
(No wait, I shouldn't meet him even if he asks.)

Things arent exactly the same anymore. Why would they be right?
Absence of gonggong..
How I feel..

Then there are the mind-boggling school stuffs and my aims which are causing a turmoil in me.

It's just like a whole tornado going on in me yet everything feels so empty.

I refuse to think. But I know I cant keep avoiding.. I'll hafta do sth at the end of the day.
Just dont know what it is. yet.


Since when did targets become pressurizing rather than motivating?
For almost every matter! Maybe it's me?

I dont know i dont know i dont know!
All I know now is that HOME is just SO cosy.. It makes me not wana move an inch of my body, my brain, my everything...